I’m known for my love of sitting on my couch at the front window with a good cup of coffee so I can pray and watch my birds, so when I told my sister I was cutting way back on my coffee consumption, she viewed it as a drastic step out of character.

“Who is this and what have you done with my sister?” This was the response I got from my sister when I texted her recently, telling her I had cut way back on my coffee consumption. Well, I had to laugh because her response of disbelief was with good reason. It doesn’t matter if you know me well or only as a facebook contact, you have probably figured out I love my coffee…even my timeline pic on Facebook features a cup of coffee. I’m known for my love of sitting on my couch at the front window with a good cup of coffee so I can pray and watch my birds, so when I told my sister I was cutting way back on my coffee consumption, she viewed it as a drastic step out of character.

 There were a couple of reasons I decided to cut back on my coffee consumption, one reason being an occasional breathless feeling and also the creeping certainty that as the economy tanks, coffee will become an unaffordable luxury. I did not want to have a two pot a day habit when that time came. I quit making coffee a pot at a time and went to making one cup at a time. This may not save a whole lot of coffee yet since it takes a minimum amount of grounds to make a cup, but it is forcing me to be mindful about drinking it. I have to WANT a cup of coffee and no longer do I dump a cold cup down the sink to pour a fresh, hot cup, (ooh…even writing that makes me want a fresh, hot cup) but I either drink it cold or nuke it…something serious coffee drinkers would never even consider doing.

 What got me thinking about this today was a post from End Time Headlines. It was a picture that said: “Dear God, I don’t want anything to have an ‘I-have-to-have-this-claim on my life. May I die to my cravings that I may live focused on you.” This brought to my mind my recent determination to undo the damage done to my proactive, healthy-living style, by my relapse to the anything-goes-along-with-the-flow-style of living. My relapse has cost me a many pound weight gain and a great deal of loss of muscle mass. As I was contemplating the statement on the picture and trying to remember what I did to live a healthy lifestyle for three full years, I remembered something God had spoken to me a few months back, just before I left for a three week visit to my daughter. I couldn’t quite remember it exactly but had a good hunch as to where I wrote it down. I am so glad I wrote it down. Here it is.

 “… I know your flesh and your fight with your flesh. I will help you-but I expect you to battle your flesh with a vehement desire to overcome it. It stands between you and my voice. It screams at you and causes you to fear an intimate relationship with your God- your creator because your flesh has only known this fallen world and its desires and longings. It is corrupt and one day will once again go to the dust it was formed from, whereas your spirit will live eternally with me. Your flesh is a limiting factor on how close to your God you become. Your flesh has too much control over your spirit and must be trained to be your servant and not your master. The servant is to serve the master- that is the rightful way of things. A servant is not to rise above the master or great travesty is the result.” He also spoke this to me, “…how you spend your time will show me how you choose your company, whether you choose me or pointless, empty, swelling, mindless diversions. You must cause your flesh to die out so that your spirit revives and becomes strong. I will help you though you must have the desire to move forward.”

 It was like the last few months came into focus after re-reading these words God had spoken to me. I had not acted immediately on His Words, and so they had been allowed to fade from my consciousness…

 The trouble is…as long as we keep satisfying the flesh and it’s desires, we will NEVER be desperate or passionate about things of God. I feel like I’m back to square one with getting my flesh back in line, but I’m desperate to be what God wants me to be and that’s to be a “prayer”.

I had become distracted with being away from home for three weeks, then coming back to the frenzy of Thanksgiving at my home with family, then preparations for my Mother’s 85th birthday and Christmas shopping and celebrating, and then New Years hosting dear friends and on and on the list goes. Not only had these Words God had spoken to me faded, but so had some of my fervency to pray. Just last night, as I got to my prayer time late in the evening, I stopped praying about immediately after I started. I felt the lack of excitement and realized I was becoming cooler in my relationship with God one degree at a time…one time of prayer at a time. My flesh was telling me I was tired and it was late. I could feel that I was praying out of duty and not from relationship.

 My desire was not toward My God…My Husband.. I responded with duty only and as any woman who is or has been a wife can tell you, a response from duty is never as satisfying as a response from desire. I stopped my dutiful prayer and asked my God for help. I told Him I could tell I was becoming cool and asked Him to stir up in me my fervency again. That didn’t happen last night. I soon became distracted by the blizzard that had blown in and ended up on the couch to get warm under my electric throw blanket to watch it. I fell asleep there and never did finish praying…another relationship killer.

 Maybe you are thinking right now that I’ve gotten off the subject. After all, I was talking about the flesh being servant to the spirit. I do have to admit this post has taken a bit of a curve, yet it seems to be where the Lord is leading.

 Bishop Chester Wright stated during session 10 of Call to War 2014, “Nothing in your life will kill the spirit of prayer quicker than lack of passion.” In session 7, he explained what the spirit of prayer is: “The spirit of prayer is a spirit of grace which is the empowerment to pray and the spirit of supplication, which brings an urgency and fervency and a focused sincerity to the prayer, which is the kind of prayer Jesus listens to.” In session 3 he says, “God doesn’t use sluggards!” He said, “Desperate, passionate people don’t wait for a downtime to do something for God!”

 The trouble is…as long as we keep satisfying the flesh and it’s desires, we will NEVER be desperate or passionate about things of God. I feel like I’m back to square one with getting my flesh back in line, but I’m desperate to be what God wants me to be and that’s to be a “prayer”.

 I hope I will be able to say as I heard Evangelist Carlton Clark say, “I like to FORCE my flesh to bend it’s knee to the spirit!”

 Time to break some strongholds.

 Nancy

Luke 17:7 “When a servant comes in from plowing or taking care of sheep, does his master say, ‘Come in and eat with me’? 8 No, he says, ‘Prepare my meal, put on your apron, and serve me while I eat. Then you can eat later.’ 9 And does the master thank the servant for doing what he was told to do? Of course not. 10 In the same way, when you obey me you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty.’”