“Crazy Prayer, Crazy Faith, Crazy Plan” was written August of 2012.
“He knows…”, I thought, as I caught my son-in-law looking in my front window at me.
I had been sitting in my chair by the window praying while my son-in-law did some much-needed yard work for me. He had been intently weed whipping outside my front window, when suddenly I realized he had stopped and was looking at me. What I was pretty sure he knew was that God had put it on my heart that I would be moving…soon and for me to prepare.
This all started, as I wrote in my post, “Rise Up Oh Army of God” after many weeks of deep prayer and fasting leading up to my daughter’s graduation from Bible college. I had realized that her commencement had the potential of being a “perfect storm” with a church full of powerful believers, Rev. Lee Stoneking preaching and my family present. I desperately wanted an outpouring of the Holy Ghost at her commencement and I desperately prayed for it. At some point during these months of petition, my prayer changed. Somehow I had become immersed in a deep place of prayer that I hadn’t known existed. I described it in my post, “Deep Calleth Unto Deep“. God graciously poured out His Holy Ghost in the evening service before graduation and at the commencement ceremony. I was so very grateful to God! I had been so hungry for an outpouring of the Holy Ghost that I drank in every bit I could get. Many people, including myself went home changed.
One thing that truly affected me, that I took home with me, was something Br. Stoneking preached from Isaiah 35:1 “The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.” He told about a man named Martin Buber and his plan to “force” the desert to blossom as a rose. (see “Rise Up Oh Army of God”) I came home determined to see that happen in my life, so once home, I kept praying and seeking God like I had been in preparation for graduation.
I had never been one to pray for longer than an hour at a stretch, but now I was discovering that hours could pass by with very little notice.
I became very protective of my prayer time. My phone was shut off, the computer dark, even the cat became relegated to the garage. I absolutely wanted NO interruptions. I also got it into my head that I should be somewhat dressed for company when I prayed. No more throw on some sweats when I got home from work. I showered, washed my hair, dressed for visitors and went to my stuffed chair to pray.
Just before graduation weekend, I had been “friended” by a lady on Facebook who has become my kindred sister and mentor. This lovely lady laboriously wrote me many instructions on prayer and intercession. One of the first things she had said to me was to be honest with God about everything.
She said to me, “If you want a deeper, more intimate connection with God you must learn to honestly share your feelings with Him, trust Him when He asks you to do something, learn to care about what He cares about and desire His friendship more than anything else. The first building block of a deeper friendship with God is complete honesty–about our faults and our feelings. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but He does insist on complete honesty.”
I took my dear friend’s instructions to heart and chose a time for prayer that I was sure wouldn’t be rushed. I made sure I would have no interruptions, then I proceeded to tell God everything. I talked to Him about EVERY failing, EVERY deep secret, everything, everything, everything. I left NOTHING out. The hours passed. The next thing I knew, six hours had passed and it felt like time had stood still.
There were things that I did not want to talk to God about, but I MADE myself tell every detail. As I finished praying, I heard Jesus speak to me in that still, small voice. He said, “Your sacrifice has been accepted.”
These times of prayer and confession went on for many days. I had lovely times of prayer, singing and dancing in the Holy Ghost. My prayer became what I call, “Crazy Prayer”. I would have my time of pouring my heart out to my Savior, then it would move into petition, then intercession, then worship and singing. It was “Crazy Prayer”. I had been involved in this “Crazy Prayer” for a couple of weeks when God impressed on my heart that I would be moving. I wrote to my kindred sister,
“Sister, I feel a great expectation today! I feel that a wonderful change is coming to my life! I’m going to start emptying my house in preparation for a move. I wonder if you are praying. I feel prayer! Love you my kindred sister! Nancy”
To date, I have gone through every closet but the furnace room and emptied them of everything but the absolute necessities. This has been hard work, but I feel like I have a fire burning at my heals. I went through bags and boxes and baskets of paper work. For some reason I had thought I needed to keep every bill, etc and I had tons that went back as far as 04. I went through all of my pictures and boxed them up and sent them to my children. I took carloads of stuff to Goodwill and to recycling. I even cleaned the garage myself, which was daunting. I still have to go through my writings, which will be difficult to deal with and the furnace room which won’t be so bad, I hope. Then I will need to make another pass and get rid of more yet. This is where my pastor/son-in-law came into the picture. Like I said at the start of this post, when my pastor looked through the window at me, I thought, “He knows…” and he did. God had spoken to him, as I found out some days later, and told him that I was moving…soon…and some distance away. You gotta love confirmation!
Something else was happening. I had quit my unhealthy lifestyle and seemed to be losing weight. This made me very happy, but very puzzled at the same time. How was it I just slipped into a diet without noticing? I figured I had better go with it and push hard. I’ve been pushing hard ever since with good, hard bought results. I still have a way to go, but at least it’s second nature now.
Then…oh wonder of wonders…one Sunday afternoon, I was sitting in my comfortable stuffed chair at my picture window, when God spoke to me. It was unmistakable. He said, “Get up, change your clothes and go for a walk.”, so I did…and I haven’t stopped walking. Rarely does a day go by that I miss my long walk.
You may wonder why I’m doing all of this when I don’t know where I’m moving or when or what’s coming. It’s that Crazy Prayer. It turned into Crazy Faith and now a Crazy Plan. God knows what He has for me. I’m just being obedient, preparing and working in His Kingdom until it’s revealed.
Mark 10: 46-52
46. And they came to Jericho: and as he went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the highway side begging.
47. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.
48. And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.
49. And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee.
50. And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus.
51. And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight.
52. And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way.
That’s Crazy Prayer!
See you in the prayer room.